My Auntie was someone that reminded me of a combination of Lucille Ball and Judy Garland. She was a hard worker, grew up as poor as a church mouse, had fiery red hair and loved to dance around the house all by herself while she cooked and cleaned. Every year, she would pull out her same-old, sad-looking Christmas tree, wrap it in tinsel and cover it in neon colored bulbs. She had these tin foil ornaments that would get smashed from year to year, and some retro satin ornaments too. Every year, I would cut all the little strings off of those satin ornaments where they had gotten snagged and fluff all the sad little tin foil ornaments back to life before we decorated the tree. She also had this vintage set of Santa and Mrs. Clause that stood about 1 foot tall and she'd put them on the floor at the front of the tree to guard all the presents. She didn't have central heat and air, instead she had an old gas heater. The lighter was finicky and you had to practically stand on one foot, while rubbing your belly AND patting your head in order to get it to light just right. Otherwise you ran the risk of catching the house on fire.
Those were the days when we didn't have to be entertained 24/7. So as soon as the sun went down, we would turn all the lights off, light up the tree, fire up the ol' heater and just sit in silence... in the dark... staring at the lights. As a child, I bet I memorized every color and ornament on that tree. Blues, reds, greens and yellows.. and then an entire hybrid of colors from lights shining through lights from the backside of the tree. It was SO beautiful. Auntie's tree was always the prettiest. She had such a simple, country, retro style. She did the best she could with what she had, and it never failed to be perfection.
I try to recreate those memories every year. These days, however, I choose all white lights, and rather than tinsel, I use decorative mesh, and rather than shiny satin ornaments, we do sparkly ones. We've also upgraded to central heat and air instead of a temperamental old gas heater. The memories aren't quite the same, but I think the important thing is that we replicate the process. For some reason it always makes me feel closer to her. It was our favorite time of year. Maybe this weekend, I'll take a moment to curl up on the couch, turn off all the lights, crank up the heat and just stare into the tree. It's in those moments, when our brains are left to themselves... sitting in silence, without distraction... that we can truly connect to something higher than us. Maybe it's the Spirit of Christmas, maybe it's the Spirit of God... but the fact is that time slows down... and in those moments - we find a tiny portion of true peace.
Merry Christmas!
